Today, they cut down my Granddaddy's trees.

I used to think that the phrase, "Life goes on," was meant as a comforting lie that life would one day be as good as it was before the negative event that warranted said phrase (either that, or "suck it up.")  I now realize that it doesn't have a hidden meaning at all.   It means that life goes on whether you want it to or not.  It doesn't promise that life will ever be the same, and it shouldn't, because it won't.  Life is a series of moments, some good, some bad, in an ever waving sea of change.  Constant change.  Even during a pattern of good moments or bad ones all grouped into a stretch of time, change is happening.

It's easy to look back on a summer, which mom and I remember to be particularly joyous, and sometimes, we wish that we were in that place again.  But, if I inspect it a bit more closely, at the time, we were in the midst of a colossal change.  That was an in between moment, and I'm willing to bet that if we were thrown back into that summer, we'd both be scared shitless.

The other afternoon at the grocery store, mom mentioned that she missed the time in her life when she used to run into her dad there.  She obviously found those moments comforting and wanted to return to such a happy time.  But, upon further thought, I realized that those moments happened during the times in her life when she was struggling with the loss of a child, an unhappy marriage, being a single mom, finding a new love, and having a baby who didn't sleep until she was four.  And this is probably why she found the chance encounters worth storing away.  They meant something to her.  They meant a moment of peace.  Or maybe support.

As soon as we moved into our "new" house when I was eight, Dad set to chopping down all the trees one by one.  They were big and messy and were all in danger of blowing over during a good windstorm.   When I was eighteen, dad planted a new tree in the front yard-- a little potted Bradford Pear that dad had purchased for use in our Senior year production of "Alabama Rain."  Eventually, we found a better prop to use, and the young tree was shoved into the darkness of back stage.  But, that little tree fought and fought, and it bloomed despite the lack of water or light.  And so, it earned its place in our yard.  Likewise, when I was twenty-two and dad saw fit to finally dig a pool (three years after I moved out), Uncle Bobby brought mom a Weeping Willow and planted it nearby.  It was her dream to float around and stare at a graceful Willow tree whilst sipping on an icy Margarita, and so it was. 

Those are our special trees, now, but as a child, our special trees were the ones planted in Mimi and Granddaddy's front yard.  My mother was a child when they were planted, and they were very tall by the time I came along.  Mom tells a story of when hundreds of blackbirds took up residence in those trees.  My grandfather didn't like the idea of me playing in an area used as a blackbird potty, and he set to removing the birds by example.  A good, honest Christian man, Granddaddy called the city to alert them of the situation and to warn them that he was about to use a firearm within city limits.  They sent an officer out to observe as he fired a few shots into the trees, permanently grounding a few of the vermin while the others scattered.  The fallen comrades were then hoisted on ropes into the trees as a warning to future visitors, and the problem was solved.

Today, I drove by that house to find stumps where those trees once stood, and it hit me right in the feels.  As soon as I saw my mother, I ripped off the bandaid of news, and we both drove over to stare at the house, wood shavings coating most everything in sight.  Of course, we know how monstrous the trees had become, and with tornado season approaching, it made perfect sense that the current owners of the house would have had the giants chopped down, just as we had done with the trees at our own house.  Because those trees were just trees to us.  They were big and messy and kept the grass from growing.  They were liabilities and hassles.  They were nothing to us.  Now, I wonder if they may have been something to someone else. 

But, life goes on.  New trees may be planted someday-- trees special to the new family.  And sometime after that, those trees will be cut down or blown over or sucked out of the earth by a twister.  And guess what?  Life will go on.  Life is never stagnant.  It may be boring.  It may seem hopeless at times.  But, it never stands still.  The world keeps moving around us.  People die, and new ones are born.  People get married, divorced, get jobs, retire, make plans, and change them.  No two days are alike.  Heck, no two hours are alike.  As someone who has become somewhat terrified of change, I find that fact kind of funny.  Essentially, it doesn't matter whether I choose to have things change.  They're going to change anyway.  My invisible sand timer was flipped the day I was pulled out of Mom, and it's constantly running, just like everyone else's.  There is only one guarantee in life:  it will go on...until the sand runs out. 

Then again...

September sounds like the perfect moving month to me!

Sixteen days.  Wow.  That number might have more significance if I told you that I've planned to move to LA since the 4th Grade (which was also around the start of my Saved By the Bell obsession.  That's probably unrelated, though.)  Anywho, my plan to go to college in LA took a last minute detour when I got a phone call from a somewhat exclusive conservatory in NYC, so I moved North and lived there for 3.5 years.  I loved it, but I continued to venture further and further off my path until I was no longer sure which way to go.  As is often the case when one gets lost, I headed home. 

The "home" portion of my journey was supposed to last 10 months.  Then, I would head back to NYC.  Tomorrow will be the eight year anniversary of my arrival home.  The ten month thing didn't happen.  In 2009, there was a new plan to move back and room with Paul.  This was during the height of the recession, and it turns out that Alabama is more cost-of-living friendly than NYC during a recession.

But, I guess there was a silver lining to that recession.  NYC, like Alabama, is comfortable.  It's homey to me now.  And moving back would be just that-- a more expensive, lots of stuff to do, closer to my NY friends version of Tuscumbia.  And soon, that old voice was back in my head, urging me West.  So, I made a new plan two years ago, and I set a date:  August 2013.  But, who wants to drive across the country in the heat of August when gas prices are high for vacationers?  So, October it would be, although that's right before my birthday.  And then there's Thanksgiving and Christmas, and who needs to spend all that time flying home when I've only just arrived in LA?  So, January 2014 was a go.  The 2nd.  No, the 11th.  But, really, how could I expect to make such a big move when I'm still coming out of Holiday mode???  February 22nd sounds good.  But, then, why not just wait until the fist of the month?  And really, if I wait to leave until the 8th, I can skip paying that California sales tax on my car.  And you know, April would also work...

Except that the March 8th thing appears to be sticking.  And that scares the heck out of me because I have less of a plan than ever of exactly what I want to do with my life.  Screenwriting.  Production.  Script Supervising.  Directing.  Casting.  Management.  PR.  Something in entertainment.  Will that make me happy?  What if I'm already as happy as I'm going to be?  What if I miss something big with my family or my local friends?  What if I want to come back?  What if I don't want to come back?

It doesn't matter.  It's no longer a plan or even a choice.  It's a compulsion, which is why I have decided to stop saying that I'm "moving to LA" or "taking an open ended trip too LA" (as has been my description over the last couple of weeks).  Now, the word I'm using is Sabbatical.  Of course, technically, that means a break from work, but I think it still applies here.  The purpose is essentially to stop what you're doing and spend a year doing what you really want to do.  To accomplish something.  I'm not sure exactly what that accomplishment will be or how the next year will go, but I guess we'll find out.

In sixteen days.

That Time Josh Duhamel Took Me to the Prom

So, this happened...

In the past, I've been a bit of a blog hopper, but this blog has one of my favorite posts, so check it out.    Save The Cat (My Live Journal Blog)

My Oscar Picks

So, the night is upon us!!! I haven't had the chance to review the remaining films, so I shall do that at a later date. For now, I will tell you my picks!!! (My pick in each category is in green.)

Actor in a Leading Role (Don't really have a pick here, but if I had to choose a fave...)
Jeff Bridges in “Crazy Heart”
George Clooney in “Up in the Air”
Colin Firth in “A Single Man”
Morgan Freeman in “Invictus”
Jeremy Renner in “The Hurt Locker”

Actor in a Supporting Role
Matt Damon in “Invictus”
Woody Harrelson in “The Messenger”
Christopher Plummer in “The Last Station”
Stanley Tucci in “The Lovely Bones” (By a landslide, for me)
Christoph Waltz in “Inglourious Basterds”

Actress in a Leading Role
Sandra Bullock in “The Blind Side”
Helen Mirren in “The Last Station”
Carey Mulligan in “An Education”
Gabourey Sidibe in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire”
Meryl Streep in “Julie & Julia”

Actress in a Supporting Role
Penélope Cruz in “Nine”
Vera Farmiga in “Up in the Air”
Maggie Gyllenhaal in “Crazy Heart”
Anna Kendrick in “Up in the Air”
Mo’Nique in “Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” (Give this woman a second trophy for that last scene alone.)

Animated Feature Film
“Coraline” Henry Selick
“Fantastic Mr. Fox” Wes Anderson
“The Princess and the Frog” John Musker and Ron Clements
“The Secret of Kells” Tomm Moore
“Up” Pete Docter

Art Direction
“Avatar” Art Direction: Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg; Set Decoration: Kim Sinclair
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” Art Direction: Dave Warren and Anastasia Masaro; Set Decoration: Caroline Smith
“Nine” Art Direction: John Myhre; Set Decoration: Gordon Sim
“Sherlock Holmes” Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
“The Young Victoria” Art Direction: Patrice Vermette; Set Decoration: Maggie Gray

Cinematography
“Avatar” Mauro Fiore
“Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince” Bruno Delbonnel
“The Hurt Locker” Barry Ackroyd
“Inglourious Basterds” Robert Richardson
“The White Ribbon” Christian Berger

Costume Design
“Bright Star” Janet Patterson
“Coco before Chanel” Catherine Leterrier
“The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus” Monique Prudhomme
“Nine” Colleen Atwood
“The Young Victoria” Sandy Powell

Directing
“Avatar” James Cameron
“The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow
“Inglourious Basterds” Quentin Tarantino
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels
“Up in the Air” Jason Reitman

Film Editing
“Avatar” Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron
“District 9” Julian Clarke
“The Hurt Locker” Bob Murawski and Chris Innis
“Inglourious Basterds” Sally Menke
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Joe Klotz

Makeup
“Il Divo” Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano
“Star Trek” Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow
“The Young Victoria” Jon Henry Gordon and Jenny Shircore

Music (Original Score) (Three way tie, for me)
“Avatar” James Horner
“Fantastic Mr. Fox” Alexandre Desplat
“The Hurt Locker” Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders
“Sherlock Holmes” Hans Zimmer
“Up” Michael Giacchino

Music (Original Song)
“Almost There” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Down in New Orleans” from “The Princess and the Frog” Music and Lyric by Randy Newman
“Loin de Paname” from “Paris 36” Music by Reinhardt Wagner Lyric by Frank Thomas
“Take It All” from “Nine” Music and Lyric by Maury Yeston
“The Weary Kind (Theme from Crazy Heart)” from “Crazy Heart” Music and Lyric by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Best Picture
“Avatar” James Cameron and Jon Landau, Producers
“The Blind Side” Gil Netter, Andrew A. Kosove and Broderick Johnson, Producers
“District 9” Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, Producers
“An Education” Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, Producers
“The Hurt Locker” Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal, Nicolas Chartier and Greg Shapiro, Producers
“Inglourious Basterds” Lawrence Bender, Producer
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, Producers
“A Serious Man” Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, Producers
“Up” Jonas Rivera, Producer
“Up in the Air” Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, Producers

Sound Editing
“Avatar” Christopher Boyes and Gwendolyn Yates Whittle
“The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson
“Inglourious Basterds” Wylie Stateman
“Star Trek” Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin
“Up” Michael Silvers and Tom Myers

Sound Mixing
“Avatar” Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson and Tony Johnson
“The Hurt Locker” Paul N.J. Ottosson and Ray Beckett
“Inglourious Basterds” Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti and Mark Ulano
“Star Trek” Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson and Peter J. Devlin
“Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” Greg P. Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson

Visual Effects
“Avatar” Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R. Jones
“District 9” Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken
“Star Trek” Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton

Writing (Adapted Screenplay) (Two way tie)
“District 9” Written by Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell
“An Education” Screenplay by Nick Hornby
“In the Loop” Screenplay by Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci, Tony Roche
“Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire” Screenplay by Geoffrey Fletcher
“Up in the Air” Screenplay by Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner

Writing (Original Screenplay)
“The Hurt Locker” Written by Mark Boal
“Inglourious Basterds” Written by Quentin Tarantino
“The Messenger” Written by Alessandro Camon & Oren Moverman
“A Serious Man” Written by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“Up” Screenplay by Bob Peterson, Pete Docter, Story by Pete Docter, Bob Peterson, Tom McCarthy

So, there you have it. I am baffled that so many people are obsessed with The Hurt Locker. It was completely lost on me. Oh well. We probably already know how this is going to end, but those are my choices!

And now, I'm off to ponder the biggest mystery of the night: What will Kristen Stewart wear?

Film #19- Fantastic Mr. Fox

I must begin by saying that claymation usually freaks me out. That said, I really enjoyed this film. It was smart and witty, and it had a realistic element to it. Not to mention, how can you not love a George Clooney film? It's impossible.

My friend, Melissa, learned and often uses her favorite new phrase, "Cluster cuss," from this film, and now I can see why she saw it twice. It was definitely entertaining, funny, and charming.

The dead rat scene kind of got to me, though.

Score: A-

Film #18-- Brothers

Now this, my friends, is how you do a war movie. It's not about showing us two solid hours of battle and gore. It's about letting us in on the moments before, during, and after battle-- that's what makes for a quality piece of entertainment.

The film's leads, Jake Gyllenhaal, Tobey Maguire, and Natalie Portman, each gave flawless performances. But the standout performance in this film belongs to ten year old, Bailee Madison, who stole my heart as the oldest daughter of Sam and Grace Cahill (Maguire and Portman).

Score: A-

Film #17- Up

*Sob* First of all, I have to say that The Notebook has nothing on Up! I was near sobbing just ten minutes into it. I'm such a sucker for a good "kids who grew up as best friends and then got married" story. I lost a little interest during the action. I'm not much for long action sequences. But, I lurved all of the parts pertaining to the love story. *Sob*

Score: A-

Film #16- The Informant

The Informant took me by surprise, though not necessarily in a good way. My film reactions are almost always rooted in my expectations going into the film, and what I expected to see when watching The Informant was a traditional-- even slapstick, perhaps-- comedy. What I got was a quirky comedy with asides that had very little to do with the wandering story. Alas, the asides were also my favorite part of the film, and the nature of Matt Damon's character absolutely demanded that the story wander like the lies that he told.

Final verdict: I liked it okay, though it could have been trimmed by at least twenty minutes. It was funny at times, and it was very unique. I always enjoy a performance by Matt Damon, who is most definitely one of the most versatile actors of our time.

But, would I ever want to sit through it again? No way.

Score: B-

Film #15- In the Loop

Perhaps my favorite find of this Oscar season is the little known jewel of a quirky comedy, In the Loop. For anyone wondering whatever happened to the little girl from My Girl, I found her! She's woman-sized now, but she's every bit as funny and endearing as ever in this witty ensemble piece about the inner workings of the lesser known branches of the government, both U.S. and U.K. To my surprise, James Gandolfini also popped up as a military General in the film, and as I've recently become a fan since seeing him in Welcome to the Rileys, I was quite thrilled with this little bonus.

Score: A

Film #14- The Princess and The Frog

Just when I thought I might have outgrown a good old fashioned antimated musical, Disney pulls me right back in with The Princess and the Frog. I loved the characters, I loved the setting, and I loved the REALISTIC Southern accents. As always, the music was upbeat and fun, and as with any good Disney musical, there was a super cute, lovey-dovey romance at the heart of the story. My only issue was that I wanted it to last a little longer.

Score: A-

Film #13- 500 Days of Summer

I loved this film. It was quirky and unusual, and I did get lost from time to time. But ultimately, you can't get too lost as we all know how the relationship between Joseph Gordon-Levitt's Tom and Zooey Deschanel's Summer is going to end. How clever, though, was the name of the new girl in Tom's life?

Great performances, fun story, and singing by the films leads equals storytelling at its best.

Score: A

Film #12- Bright Star

Bright Star was yet another slow British period piece. It was at least half an hour too long in my opinion. The romance between flat-haired diva, Abbie Cornish, and the waify poet she was fawning over was comical. Not only was there no chemistry between the two, but Abbie's stoic acting failed to show any difference between her character's usual shrewd attitude and the moderately submissive demeanor of a woman in love.

I did, however, enjoy that Abbie's character was into fashion design, a personal hobby of mine.

Score: C-

Film #11- The Young Victoria

The Young Victoria was the one British period piece that I actually found entertaining this year. It was well written, well acted, and the pace was spot on.

Emily Blunt's portrayal of Victoria was perfect as she took us through the issues faced by a young, inexperienced queen. At times, I felt the need to rally behind her, and others, I wanted to offer her a hug.

Ultimately, it was the arrival of Prince Albert that made this film what it was. The chemistry between Albert and Victoria was very palpable.

FAVORITE SCENE: Albert shields Victoria from gunfire during a parade, taking the bullet himself. Later, when the doctor releases him into Victoria's care, she learns that Albert's love for her is much more important than anything offered by the crown.

Score: A

Film #10- It's Complicated

It's Complicated is a well-written, realistic story involving the strife of divorce and the difficulty in moving on. Meryl Streep, Alec Baldwin, and Steve Martin were both hilarious and touching.

Surprisingly, the funniest moments in the film didn't come from any of the leads. Rather, they belonged to John Krasinski, whose portrayal of Meryl and Alec's future son-in-law, Harley, gave an insightfully hysterical account of the love triangle from the vantage point of an impartial third party.

In spite of the delicious story, the masses don't appreciate an open ending. This made for a fair share of groans as the credits rolled.

Score: A-

Film #9- The Lovely Bones

I read tons of early reviews that lambasted this film, claiming that it was a wretched adaptation of the book. Naturally, I read the book before seeing the movie so that I could draw my own conclusions, and what I found was that I completely disagreed with most of the critics.

Despite the fact that I already knew what was coming, I found myself on the literal edge of my seat during the entire film. The two scenes that made me the jumpiest were the bathtub scene with Mr. Harvey and the scene in which Mr. Harvey chases Lindsey out of his house. If Stanley Tucci doesn't win an Oscar for this role, they're clearly rigged.

Score: A

Film #8- District 9

Ugh. Where do I begin? The only worthwhile thing about this movie is that the concept is very fresh. Other than that, I found the film to be long, hard to follow, and unresolved.

Score: D

Film #7- The Blind Side

What's not to like about The Blind Side? If you claim not to like this film, you're either heartless, lying, or so jaded that you need to check your ego at the door.

Sandra Bullock, as usual, pulls out a stellar performance, as does the rest of the cast. The story was funny, touching, and hopeful, and I especially loved the photos of the real Tuohy family during the credits.

Score: A+

Film #6- Julie and Julia

I really enjoyed this film, though I expected it to be a bit trite. In actuality, I found it to be fairly well written and acted. There was, however, one hole in the story which was never explained. Towards the end of the film, we learn that Julia Child doesn't like Julie's blog, but we never learn why. I suppose that this is how it went down in real life, but I'd like to have seen that question resolved in the film. All-in-all, I found it otherwise entertaining.

Score: A-